LGBTQIA+ Support

LGBTQIA+ & NDIS Support Workers

1. Understanding Sex Assigned at Birth, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

At birth, one of the first labels placed on us is often the sex we are assigned by doctors, which is typically based on the appearance of our genitals. This designation is recorded on our birth certificate as either “female” or “male.” However, this assignment is just one small part of the larger, more complex picture of who we are and how we identify.

2. What is Sex Assigned at Birth?

Sex assigned at birth refers to the classification given to a baby based on their physical anatomy—usually external genitalia—at the time of birth. This is often done in a binary way: male or female. However, this classification does not account for a person’s true gender identity, which may not align with the sex they were assigned at birth.

It is also important to recognize that not every person’s body neatly fits into the categories of “male” or “female.” Some individuals are born intersex, meaning their reproductive or sexual anatomy doesn’t align with typical definitions of male or female. People who are intersex may identify in various ways, and their experiences are valid and important to acknowledge.



The sex assigned to you at birth does not define your gender identity. It’s natural and completely valid if your gender identity does not align with the sex you were assigned at birth. Gender is a deeply personal experience, and it’s important to understand and respect individual experiences of identity.

3. What is Gender?

Gender is often misunderstood as being a binary—either “boy” or “girl”—but in reality, gender is much more expansive. It’s a spectrum, and how people experience gender can be complex, unique, and fluid.

Some people identify strongly with traditional labels like boy/man or girl/woman, while others may experience their gender as something different, such as non-binary, agender (without gender), or a mix of different genders. In fact, many people identify outside the binary system altogether. Throughout history and across cultures, there have always been diverse gender identities and expressions, showing that gender is far more flexible than simply male or female.

4. Gender Identity vs. Gender Expression

• Gender Identity is how we personally understand and experience our own gender. It is how we feel internally about our gender, and it may or may not align with the sex assigned to us at birth. Gender identity is deeply personal and can vary greatly from person to person.
• Gender Expression refers to how we present our gender to the outside world through things like clothing, behavior, and appearance. A person’s gender expression may not necessarily reflect their gender identity. For example, someone may identify as female but express themselves in ways that others might associate with masculinity, and this is perfectly valid.



Gender expression, like gender identity, is highly individualized. Some people may feel most comfortable presenting in a traditionally masculine or feminine way, while others may prefer an androgynous (gender-neutral) or genderless presentation.

5. Transitioning and Affirming Your Gender



Some individuals may choose to transition in order to affirm their gender identity. Transitioning can involve social, legal, and/or medical steps, such as using new pronouns, changing one’s name, or pursuing hormone therapy or surgery. However, not everyone who identifies with a gender different from the one assigned at birth chooses to transition, and that is perfectly valid as well. Everyone has the right to decide how they want to express their gender.

6. Sexual Orientation: Understanding Attraction



Sexual orientation is distinct from both gender identity and gender expression. While gender relates to who we are, sexual orientation is about who we are attracted to. It includes various types of attraction:

• Sexual Attraction: The desire to be sexually intimate with someone.
• Romantic Attraction: The desire to form romantic relationships with someone, which may include behaviors like holding hands, going on dates, or cuddling.
• Emotional Attraction: A desire to form deep emotional connections with someone, often through friendship or companionship.

Just like gender, sexual orientation can exist on a spectrum. People may be attracted to individuals of a particular gender, multiple genders, or experience attraction in ways that do not align with traditional categories. There is no “right” way to experience attraction, and it’s common for individuals to explore or question their sexual orientation at different points in life.

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7. Coming Out: A Personal Journey

Coming out is an incredibly personal process, and there’s no single “right” way to do it. For some, coming out is a matter of telling others about their gender identity or sexual orientation, while for others, it may be an ongoing process. The decision of when and how to come out should be based on your own comfort and safety.

If you choose to come out, you might want to consider the following:

• Who you want to share your identity with: Think about the people in your life who might be supportive, and whether you feel safe sharing your truth with them.
• Timing and Environment: Consider when and where you might feel most comfortable and safe coming out. This could be in a private conversation, or in a more public setting, depending on your circumstances.
• Support: Surround yourself with people who support and respect your identity. Having a solid support network is key, whether it’s friends, family, teachers, or community members.

8. Healthy Relationships



As you explore your identity and possibly begin dating, it’s important to recognize what makes a relationship healthy. Healthy relationships are built on trust, communication, respect, and consent. It’s important to feel safe, valued, and heard in any relationship.

On the other hand, unhealthy relationships can be characterized by manipulation, control, and sometimes abuse. If you ever find yourself in a situation where your boundaries aren’t respected, or if you feel unsafe, it’s important to reach out to someone who can help.

Consent is an essential part of any relationship—whether it’s sexual, romantic, or emotional. It’s important to always ensure that both parties freely and enthusiastically agree to any intimate interaction. You always have the right to say no, and your boundaries should be respected at all times.

reflecting on the concept of “coming out” or, as some prefer, “inviting others in,” especially in relation to young people’s journeys of self-discovery about their sexuality and gender identity. This reframing emphasizes that the process is one of agency, where the individual gets to choose who, when, and how they share this part of their identity.

For young people navigating this process, the environment in which they feel supported and heard is crucial. If they feel they can trust you, that can be an incredibly meaningful and empowering space. Here’s a deeper dive into some of the key elements of this process and how you can best respond to and support them:

1. Creating a Safe, Supportive Space

First and foremost, providing a safe and supportive environment is essential. This means ensuring that your relationship with the young person is built on trust and respect. When someone “invites you in,” they are often sharing a deeply personal part of themselves. A supportive response includes:

• Active listening: Let them talk without interrupting, and try to fully understand what they’re sharing.
• Respecting privacy: Understand that they may not want everyone to know immediately, so respecting their confidentiality is critical.
• Validating feelings: Whether their feelings are joy, confusion, or fear, letting them know that all emotions are valid helps them feel heard.

2. Tips for Responding

When a young person opens up about their sexuality or gender identity, it’s important to:

• Respect their autonomy: They may or may not want to discuss specifics with you, so be responsive to their needs. Sometimes they just want someone to listen, while other times they may want advice or resources.
• Avoid assumptions: It’s easy to assume that coming out means they’ve had negative experiences, but this is not always the case. Everyone’s journey is different. Keep an open mind about what they may or may not be feeling.
• Keep it positive and supportive: Reassure them that you’re there for them no matter what and that they don’t have to share more than they’re comfortable with.

3. Preparing for Different Reactions

It’s helpful for young people to prepare for the range of responses they may get when inviting others into their journey. Some people may be supportive, others may be confused or even negative. Preparing for a variety of reactions and discussing how to handle these reactions can provide a sense of readiness and security.

• Discussing potential reactions: Talk through how to manage difficult conversations. What might they say if someone reacts negatively? Who can they turn to for support?
• Role-playing scenarios: If they’re open to it, you can help them role-play potential reactions and responses, so they feel more prepared.

4. When and Who to Invite In

A key part of the coming out or “inviting in” process is the timing and decision of who to tell. This is entirely up to the individual. The process of sharing one’s identity is deeply personal, and it’s normal for young people to:

• Choose when and how: They may come out to different people at different times, or not at all. Some people might come out in stages—sharing with close friends first, and later with family or acquaintances.
• Decide who is safe to tell: The people they choose to invite into their journey may be a select group. This could include trusted family members, friends, or teachers.

5. Providing Resources and Information

If the young person wants to explore their identity further or learn about support networks, it’s helpful to provide information. Here are some resources that may be valuable:

• LGBTQ+ organizations like Chosen Family Australia , Minus18 or Rainbow Network can offer support, community, and resources.
• Online spaces: Sometimes, simply Googling or visiting LGBTQ+ support websites together can provide new insights and help them feel less isolated.
• Educational materials: Articles, books, or videos can help them better understand themselves or the wider community.

6. Encouraging Ongoing Conversation

Keep the lines of communication open. Remind them that this process doesn’t need to be rushed or finalized in one conversation. Coming out is often not a singular event, but rather an ongoing process that unfolds over time. Reassure them that it’s okay to revisit conversations as they grow and change.

7. The Lifelong Nature of Coming Out

Lastly, it’s important to acknowledge that coming out is often a lifelong journey. Many people come out at different stages of their lives, and sometimes to different people or in different contexts. It can be fluid—what they feel comfortable sharing or when they feel ready to share it can evolve.



For some people, coming out is a series of small steps, not one big moment. For others, they may never feel the need to “come out” in the traditional sense. Letting young people know that their process is valid no matter how it unfolds is crucial.
In the end, the key to supporting young people as they invite others in is to create an environment where they feel accepted, listened to, and free from judgment. By offering unconditional support, respecting their privacy, and guiding them with care, you can help them navigate this important step in their self-discovery with confidence.

Conclusion

Understanding concepts like sex assigned at birth, gender identity, and sexual orientation is an ongoing process that involves self-reflection, education, and acceptance. It’s essential to approach these topics with an open mind and respect for others’ experiences. Everyone’s journey with gender and sexuality is unique, and it’s important to honor that diversity. Whether you’re exploring your own identity or learning about others, the most important thing is to affirm that all identities are valid, and everyone deserves respect and understanding.



Our support workers at Chosen Family understand and value ensuring you have affirming care. Allow our lived experience support workers to work alongside you and help you achieve your goals.